As age grows, I tend to understand myself better than
before. I was a typical introvert, upgraded to an improved version of an
extrovert. I used to hate the limelight, not going to stuck my neck out for
anyone and don’t talk straight into a topic with a stranger. My job, which
requires me to talk and mingle with international human beings, opens me up
greatly. It is kind of a reversal of character suddenly. But opening up doesn’t
bring a lot of happiness either, because I might have to deal with criticism,
rejection and exposure to judgement. Yet, I prefer who I am now, as keeping
silent will only create misunderstanding even deeper.
Once a while, I do goes back to a safe mode zone, by
locking myself away. Staying in my own world in my room doing what I like to do
without disturbance. With the vibrant city out there, it is good to have the
silent back to cool things.
My family doesn’t feel there is an improved in character
in me. When I told them I want to do a different field in career which requires
lots of action and mingle with human beings, they feel I couldn’t handle it
basis my character. Yes, I was disappointed, because they don’t support my
ideas. They don’t see the changes in my character. To them, I will always not
be a colourful as my sibling. It’s tough when nobody support what you enjoy,
just because they think this is who you are in their perspective. No, I am not
talking about sibling rivalry, only wish they could have understand me a bit
better. Now going back to my parents’ home, aint feel like a welcoming home
anymore. I am like a stranger, penetrating into their lives.
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