THE $100 FOR 2 MINS

I can no longer stands the pain in my throat that I finally went to see a doctor at 330pm. My throat seems to have a knife, sliding every parts of my throat that made me cough till my lungs was out. For a few moments, I just felt like having blooding smell from my throat had after all the pain and coughing.

1 hour, that’s how long I waited for 1 doctor whereby the clinic aint full of patient but 3 medicine sale promoters. I was extremely pissed off when the doctor decided to see the promoters before me when I cough as if I got lung cancer and I came before them. He practically ignores me until I decided to complaint to the receptionist that I have already waited an hour. And I am glad I did make noise even though my voice already quite hoarse, because I get to go in right afterthat.

So it proven, terrible sore throat and a mild fever.

I waited an hour > 2 mins of consultation > $100 medicine I paid for

DAMN….

Bloody expensive!

So now I know, no more Suntec clinic!

May I get well for the sake of $100 = 2 mins.

PS: don’t talk to me now… after eating the medicine, I am voiceless… and I don’t know why.

COUGH = CHOKE? (MARRIAGE HALT)

I need some enlightenment. Does coughing equals to choking?

I was coughing my lungs out for the past few days and all these while, Charles didn’t even know I cough. I was shocked, almost terrorized by his words from the phone last night. He said all the while he thought I was choked by something…??? Even 3 years old know I need a doctor because I cough as if I got lung cancer. His insensitive and his in-affection set me thinking if our marriage can last a lifetime. His actions make me assume that if I was terrible sick in our own house and needed his care, he would thought I was acting a show that I learnt from TV and make me died slowly in aversion. When thoughts comes this far, I was exhausted from the constant forgive and forget when I am with him for the past so many years. To put it in a more mocking manner, at the very instant, I felt I should own/train a dog rather have husband where my efforts are put and come to waste. He is a man with words without actions. Example, I was sick, perhaps heaty due to CNY cookies, all he said was to buy me starfruit juice, bla bla bla… but till now, I have not received anything that can make me well from him. Tired, disgusted, and sickened by his attitude that seems 100% match JUST LIKE HIS FATHER. My eyes are blinded by him that I only know how to forgive but never really take into my stand how husband should behave.

Halt the marriage for now, because I lost the confident a wife should have for in her husband.

Halt the marriage for now, because he broken the marriage vow.

Halt the marriage for now, because for better or for worse, is a wishful thinking of me.

Halt the marriage for now, because he might turn out to be JUST LIKE HIS FATHER. A USELESS manic who buys Hush Puppy shoes when he is fucking poor because he CHOOSE not to work. A**HOL*!!!

To constantly used the scene whereby I was admitted to TTSH 3 years ago and he was there persistently, is a wasteful thinking because until now, I finally knew he is only best at being persistent. Such as, everytime I was angry or frustrated over him, he would persistently pesters me to forgive. To me, the actions symbolized an addict which now, I became very afraid when I see him after I was mad at him. Now I am sick, I lost the fighting spirit to fight against the beast in him, thus I could only run away from his addiction that might cause me breathless.

The marriage will be halt…

PS: you might feel I am being rude against his father, but anyone who knows the inside stories, you would know I have been 100% lenient to him for many years.

PSS: I am also f***ing tired that none of his family members are thrilled that we are getting married.

PSSS: YES, OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT AS ABOVE!
(this shows how pissed off I am finally am)

VALENTINE DAY 2011

It’s the special day for love.

A lot of colleagues got couriered roses and presents from their partner. What a surprise! You can see the grin in their faces even though they said it was purely commercialized and a waste of money. I was happy for them, because their partners remember this special day. These guys are bravo in making a woman happy.

Nope, I didn’t get anything today or any celebration. YES, I am saying the truth. There were also no special gestures except I felt, a copied sms from somewhere sent to me in the morning by Charles. Aint sweet right…I will just have to live with it because everytime I complaint about his unromantism , he would often debate that this is his character and cannot be change. Seriously, I rather not see him today and head home to watch TV.

I am just so tired due to the CNY… *yawn*

Happy Valentine’s Day

SOCIAL FAULT

I saw one show recently, about an arts scholar. He was a straight A student and was about to graduate from the Arts School in another 3 months. The route to success changed when he got himself into a relationship with a beautiful girl, in his class. While the arts students’ road to success was visible, his girlfriend was almost being raped by a Director who promised to give her the success she yearns for. The straight A student had a fight with the Director, and was been fired from the art school immediately clearly because of the fight. To him, he was a hero for her, but things just couldn’t get it right after that incident.

He was expelled, and no companies willing to take him in in his country. He migrated, only to seek employment and continue to do the things he loves – acting. Things were tough, as no companies used him. There are many reasons speculating, such as he didn’t graduated or his salary demands are too steep. To survive, he can only wore a clown suit and sells balloons at night. As he wasn’t a registered clown selling things in the streets, he was again and again being threatened to leave. The hatred blow up when his once girlfriend became famous and got the best actresses award.

As time goes by, his hatred grew… his hatred for the society.

He brought black balloons, tied to an acidic bottle and allows the balloons to fly. Many people were injured because of this.

To him, no one gave him chances… he committed suicide just as when the police about to raid his home.

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It was sad isn’t it, when environmental factors was not to his advantage. Sometimes, I felt just like him too. It just seems that I couldn’t fit into the society. Many times, because of this factor I hopped jobs and only to realize no matter where I go, still square one. It was very frustrating indeed and I took a while for me to understand this together with great emotional and physical struggles. With all the different kinds of attacks, I am just glad that I still survive and breathing. Dying may not be the only solution… and may not solve the problem too.