I need some enlightenment. Does coughing equals to choking?
I was coughing my lungs out for the past few days and all these while, Charles didn’t even know I cough. I was shocked, almost terrorized by his words from the phone last night. He said all the while he thought I was choked by something…??? Even 3 years old know I need a doctor because I cough as if I got lung cancer. His insensitive and his in-affection set me thinking if our marriage can last a lifetime. His actions make me assume that if I was terrible sick in our own house and needed his care, he would thought I was acting a show that I learnt from TV and make me died slowly in aversion. When thoughts comes this far, I was exhausted from the constant forgive and forget when I am with him for the past so many years. To put it in a more mocking manner, at the very instant, I felt I should own/train a dog rather have husband where my efforts are put and come to waste. He is a man with words without actions. Example, I was sick, perhaps heaty due to CNY cookies, all he said was to buy me starfruit juice, bla bla bla… but till now, I have not received anything that can make me well from him. Tired, disgusted, and sickened by his attitude that seems 100% match JUST LIKE HIS FATHER. My eyes are blinded by him that I only know how to forgive but never really take into my stand how husband should behave.
Halt the marriage for now, because I lost the confident a wife should have for in her husband.
Halt the marriage for now, because he broken the marriage vow.
Halt the marriage for now, because for better or for worse, is a wishful thinking of me.
Halt the marriage for now, because he might turn out to be JUST LIKE HIS FATHER. A USELESS manic who buys Hush Puppy shoes when he is fucking poor because he CHOOSE not to work. A**HOL*!!!
To constantly used the scene whereby I was admitted to TTSH 3 years ago and he was there persistently, is a wasteful thinking because until now, I finally knew he is only best at being persistent. Such as, everytime I was angry or frustrated over him, he would persistently pesters me to forgive. To me, the actions symbolized an addict which now, I became very afraid when I see him after I was mad at him. Now I am sick, I lost the fighting spirit to fight against the beast in him, thus I could only run away from his addiction that might cause me breathless.
The marriage will be halt…
PS: you might feel I am being rude against his father, but anyone who knows the inside stories, you would know I have been 100% lenient to him for many years.
PSS: I am also f***ing tired that none of his family members are thrilled that we are getting married.
PSSS: YES, OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT AS ABOVE!
(this shows how pissed off I am finally am)
I was coughing my lungs out for the past few days and all these while, Charles didn’t even know I cough. I was shocked, almost terrorized by his words from the phone last night. He said all the while he thought I was choked by something…??? Even 3 years old know I need a doctor because I cough as if I got lung cancer. His insensitive and his in-affection set me thinking if our marriage can last a lifetime. His actions make me assume that if I was terrible sick in our own house and needed his care, he would thought I was acting a show that I learnt from TV and make me died slowly in aversion. When thoughts comes this far, I was exhausted from the constant forgive and forget when I am with him for the past so many years. To put it in a more mocking manner, at the very instant, I felt I should own/train a dog rather have husband where my efforts are put and come to waste. He is a man with words without actions. Example, I was sick, perhaps heaty due to CNY cookies, all he said was to buy me starfruit juice, bla bla bla… but till now, I have not received anything that can make me well from him. Tired, disgusted, and sickened by his attitude that seems 100% match JUST LIKE HIS FATHER. My eyes are blinded by him that I only know how to forgive but never really take into my stand how husband should behave.
Halt the marriage for now, because I lost the confident a wife should have for in her husband.
Halt the marriage for now, because he broken the marriage vow.
Halt the marriage for now, because for better or for worse, is a wishful thinking of me.
Halt the marriage for now, because he might turn out to be JUST LIKE HIS FATHER. A USELESS manic who buys Hush Puppy shoes when he is fucking poor because he CHOOSE not to work. A**HOL*!!!
To constantly used the scene whereby I was admitted to TTSH 3 years ago and he was there persistently, is a wasteful thinking because until now, I finally knew he is only best at being persistent. Such as, everytime I was angry or frustrated over him, he would persistently pesters me to forgive. To me, the actions symbolized an addict which now, I became very afraid when I see him after I was mad at him. Now I am sick, I lost the fighting spirit to fight against the beast in him, thus I could only run away from his addiction that might cause me breathless.
The marriage will be halt…
PS: you might feel I am being rude against his father, but anyone who knows the inside stories, you would know I have been 100% lenient to him for many years.
PSS: I am also f***ing tired that none of his family members are thrilled that we are getting married.
PSSS: YES, OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT AS ABOVE!
(this shows how pissed off I am finally am)
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